The Lancaster/Ryder ABDUCTION OF ZACK BUTTERFIELD: so wrong it's camp

What can one say? Maybe, "Whew!"

It's been several years since I have seen what would appear a provocative and interesting story idea made into a movie as insufficiently imagined and over-the-top misguided as THE ABDUCTION OF ZACK BUTTERFIELD, which was co-written by its director Rick Lancaster (shown below) and Stephen M. Ryder.  The latter is credited as a co-writer of L.I.E., though this current work ought to make us even more grateful for the contributions of Michael Cuesta, as director and co-writer of that earlier and groundbreaking  film.

This film's title tells you its story, while its poster (above) lets you see that abduction coming. Our protagonist, Zack, is the jogger and his antagonist is one, April McKenna -- played by newcomer Brett Helsham (shown below). April, a veteran of our current wartime follies in both Afghanistan and Iraq, is one terrifically troubled young woman who has some major problems with men. And so she has decided to kidnap a teenage boy, hold him captive and slowly turn him into the man of her dreams. Makes sense, right?

If I tell you that my six-year-old granddaughter would make an equally believable war veteran/nutcase as the version Ms Helsham gives us, this should provide a hint as to how ridiculous this whole enterprise quickly becomes. I don't mean to demean the actress, who might very well go on to become a gifted rom-com comedienne. But she -- like everyone associated with this fiasco -- is way out of her depth.

From the "action sequence" of the kidnapping scene to April's dressing up as a seductress (above), this is a high-school-level performance. I would say this, too, about her co-star TJ Plunkett, below, except that he is in high school. Wearing one expression throughout the film, and sounding exactly the same whether he is simply having a conversation with his captor or trying to "put one over" on her, he runs the gamut of emotions from A to, well, A.

Much of this must be attributable to Mr. Lancaster, as co-writer and director and his associate Mr. Ryder -- who see fit not to have the abductee bother to ask his abductor "Why am I here and why are you doing this?" until the movie is more than half-over. The filmmaker allows a huge chunk of exposition -- April's past history -- to be doled out in one long, boring barf that practically puts us, not to mention her captive, to sleep. One of the more interesting characters in the movie (played by Walter Masterson, below) comes off needlessly confusing: Is this guy a little slow, or was he simply directed to act unduly goofy?

Even the card game between teen-age friends that take place early in the movie, shown at bottom, while relatively well-written, is staged without an accompanying sense of reality. Didn't anybody on set, or during the rushes, notice how silly this all looked? Or were they all just hoping for a miracle? The big "sex scene," during which the camera pans politely away, 'natch, is scored to the strains of -- oh, god, no -- Swan Lake. I never thought I'd ask for this, but, please, bring back Black Swan!

The supporting cast members do a bit better in their roles, especially Zack's mom and dad, played respectively by Lisa Gunn (above, right) and Aaron Letrick (left). But other than the glossy, infomercial-level cinematography (by Aric Jacobson), this is amateur night at the movies -- so bad that it becomes that much-sought-after but rarely discovered joy: unintentional camp.

The Abduction of Zack Butterfield (91 minutes) opens this Friday, May 27, in New York City at the Quad Cinema and in Los Angeles at Laemmle's Sunset 5. Go, I say, and giggle away!