Bayou vampires reign, as Buz Alexander's NOCTURNA hits Blu-ray/DVD/VOD and EEST

Oh, boy, a new vampire movie! We haven't seen too many of this genre lately, perhaps because HBO's True Blood cornered the market on the fang-mouths, and then (as often happens when a series overstays its welcome) bled it dry. So, we should not be too hard on NOCTURNA, the newest entry into eternal life mode, which makes its straight-to-home-video debut next Tuesday. If this film breaks no genuine "new ground," at least it rings a few changes on stuff we've seen plenty of already.

Novice writer/director (he was also one of the executive-producers on the film) Buz Alexander -- shown, left, and photographed within a closed coffin. Try as we might, we could not find a photo of this guy -- has cobbled together in pretty professional fashion many of the standard tropes of the genre, then given them a tidy and interesting plot on which to hang. The result is a movie that holds your interest, provides some excitement (if not a lot of suspense) and offers enough gore and special effects to induce a few scares.

We're in New Orleans (though the film was actually shot in Baton Rouge and St. Francisville), in a broken-down shack on what looks like a bayou. The tenant hears a noise, the source of which then terrorizes and hypnotizes him into a suicide of sorts (above) -- all because of a missing young girl (below).

We soon learn that New Orleans has quite a number of vampires, all living (whoops: that's not quite the right word) under the nose and even the protection of the local police -- especially the higher-ups, who turn a blind eye to the blood-letting.

There is also on display a mix of really-bad vampires and not-so-bad vampires. The former drink the blood of innocent children, while the latter only drain murderers, child molesters and other of society's dregs. Oh, yes -- and they all use guard dogs (above) as protectors,

Into this mix arrives a new young cop (played with a rather charming sense of incredulity by Danny Agha) , untutored in the ways of the not-quite-dead, who is taken under the wing of an older cop (Mike Doyle, above), who himself lost a wife to the bloodsuckers some time back. Ex-pretty-boy Johnathon Schaech (below) plays the lead vampire. The film's best scene takes place in a hospital, and might just recall some of the glories -- the shock and violence -- found in one of, if not the best of the vampire movies, Near Dark.

The movie's reinvention of certain cliches includes using the usual Christian cross (here seen as a tattoo!) as a way to resist a vampire's hypnotic powers, and "voice recognition" as a new skill among the undead. This is the plus side. On the negative are some very poorly-staged action sequences, and the complete omission of any closure regarding our two heroes' "quest" -- to locate the place where those really-bad vampires sleep by day. This seems to have fallen off the filmmaker's agenda.  Or maybe he's saving it for the sequel. (That's Estella Warren, below, as the "romance connection" among the good vampire group.)

Overall, Nocturna is at least good enough to sate the appetite of those who must have a vampire movie in their diet every now and again. It's reasonably entertaining, lasts only 95 minutes, and offers a surprise or two up its well-worn sleeve.

From Alchemy, the distributor that seems to be releasing every second movie these days, Nocturna hits the street this coming Tuesday, October 6, on Blu-ray, DVD, VOD and EEST (that's Early Electronic Sell-Through, for those of you -- like me -- untutored in the new technology). If you want to learn just about everything regarding EEST, click here to read an eye-opening article from Variety. 

Digital debut: New Orleans losers inhabit Eddie Jemison/Sean Richardson's KING OF HERRINGS

It has been awhile since any movie's rubbed me as thoroughly the wrong way as did this odd little film. I admit that tackling a story about four male losers and two of their women (a sister and wife) -- in which the leading loser is such a waste of time, not to mention verbiage -- has got to be a tricky endeavor. How far can you go in presenting your leading man as an all-stops-out asshole (or as he might put it, a cunt) before completely alienating your audience? Good question. For the answer, see -- if you dare -- KING OF HERRINGS.

The film's a group effort that is finally and mostly the product of one man -- Eddie Jemison (shown at left) who wrote, co-directed, co-produced and stars in the leading role -- at whose feet one can lay the praise or blame. I hope Mr. Jemison wears a size 15 shoe. Pace the late John Cassavetes whose black-and-white early American "art" movies Jemison has surely seen and here tries to ape, but it takes more than decent b/w cinematography and men behaving not just badly but ultra-stupidly to create something redeeming.

That cinematography and its editing, both by co-director Sean Richardson, is worth seeing -- though in the initial scene at a railway station, it takes awhile to get one's footing/viewing. Soon we're in a practically empty bar, watching our quartet of males, led by Jemison's character "Ditch," behaving in an irredeemably dumb way. As the movie goes along, this guy just gets worse and less believable with each scene.

OK: Maybe this is just "guys being guys." But there is a limit. Pushing the envelope is one thing, but Jemison rolls it into a ball, stomps on it and then sets it ablaze. Ditch's behavior is so thoroughly out of line in every way that you simply can't believe that the other three "friends" would tolerate him for more than a few minutes. These include the tall and lanky Gat (David Jensen, on poster at top and above, right), Artie aka The Professor (Joe Chrest, below, left) and Leon (Wayne Pére, below, right, and two photos above), the best-looking but also the shyest of the four, who is relegated to using a voice box in order to speak and be heard.

The women are played by Laura Lamson (below, right, and at bottom) as Ditch's wife, Mary, and Andrea Frankle (below, left), as his sister, Evie. Both do an excellent job, with Ms Lamson in particular able to create a whole character and space around herself via a quiet but insistent strength. This goes a long way in making the movie worth sitting through.

Jealousy, desire, shame, anger and mostly stupidity keep the ball rolling along here, but the movie's weakest link is its very tenuous hold on reality. None of these guys seem to have a job, save The Prof, who -- wait for it -- sells magazine subscriptions for a living. Granted we're in the New Orleans area, post-Katrina and the Gulf Oil Spill, but still, we've all got to earn our keep. How these guys even afford a meal is questionable.

The one character who at least has a job is the owner of the cafe (John Mese, above) in which the quartet hangs out. Some homoerotic stuff comes to the fore along the way in a particularly bizarre scene in which Ditch threatens Leon by helping him take a piss, complementing him on his cock in the process. At other times, you may find yourself wondering if these are gays simply pretending to be straight. There is finally a feeling here that this whole story and group of characters were created simply to give these particular performers, especially Mr. Jemison, the chance to go whole hog, all-stops-out, & "act" themselves silly. Unfortunately, they do.

King of Herrings, via Devolver, becomes available on Digital VOD this Tuesday, January 20, via outlets such as iTunes, Amazon Instant Video, VHX, Vimeo-on-Demand, Google Play, Gumroad, YouTube Rentals and elsewhere.