HOSTILE: Mathieu Turi's creature-feature-and-would-be-love-story hits home video market

Hmmm... Is there something antithetic about the use of the word hostile, or any variation of it, in your movie's title? Last year we had Hostiles, one of the year's worst, which had the theatrical audience with whom I saw the film actually cat-calling to the screen. Now this year comes HOSTILE, a post-apocalyptic sci-fi love story combo that is the worst film I've had to sit thru so far in 2018.  Bypassing theaters, where it would surely have sunk without a trace (except for angry patrons probably demanding their money back), it arrives on home video this coming Tuesday, September 4.

Written and directed by a fellow named Mathieu Turi (shown at left and with whose work I was not formerly acquainted), the movie offers us a seemingly lone survivor (below) in a post-apocalyptic desert setting, whom we eventually discover is a woman. She appears to be out stalking... what? Aliens, maybe. Clearly, there is something very bad going on out there.

Soon, an utterly unbelievable moment occurs involving a seemingly treasured photograph and the wind. This leads to the sudden crash of her vehicle, after which our heroine is injured and stranded, and spends the rest of the film reminiscing about her lost love (which we see in flashback after flashback after flashback) and/or fighting off intruders.

This is a dreadful idea, and the movie that contains it proves even worse. Those flashbacks are mostly awful -- the first one (a meet-cute in an art gallery, shown below) isn't half bad -- cliche-ridden and ultra-obvious. Further, they drain much of the suspense from the present-day goings-on.

The love of our heroine's life turns out to be none other than Grégory Fitoussi (above and below, left), that tall-dark-and-handsome hunk from French TV's Spiral series. M. Fitoussi provides the most professional performance, though even he cannot rise above the so-so-to-not-so script.

Leading lady Brittany Ashworth (above and below) is also faced with the problem of surmounting a bad idea, badly done. In the present-day mode, she mostly suffers and threatens, rather tiresomely; the flashbacks are even worse.

To the writer/director's credit, he does not spell out every last detail but allows us to piece together what has happened to the former world. Unfortunately, what we do put together doesn't seen all that plausible: a "gas" accident has turned much of the population into these weirdo creatures? Oh, well. At least they're not zombies. (Well, not exactly...)

The surprise ending will probably have given itself away (to some of you, at least) earlier on, and instead of being at all moving will seem merely ridiculous. Reading the end credit "thank-yous" from the director, however, may make you kind of sad. He seems genuinely grateful to so many people. If only the result were a better film.

From 4DIGITAL MEDIA (but good luck trying to find the film on the company's web site) and running 83 minutes, Hostile hits the street this coming Tuesday, September 4 -- for purchase and/or rental.

DVDebut: Miguel Llansó's Ethiopian-set sci-fi festival hit, the kooky, charming CRUMBS

What a pleasure it is to see a post-apocalyptic narrative set in something other than the burnt-out drudgery of a wasted planet. While CRUMBS, the first full-length feature from director Miguel Llansó, takes place partly in a desert-like locale, much of the movie offers the verdant, hilly landscapes of Ethiopia, a country I warrant most of my readers have rarely seen on film and never traveled to themselves.
Nor have I.

This alone makes Crumbs worth a look for film (and geography) buffs. There's more, too, for the movie is often as goofy and sweet as the look on its director's face (Señor Llansó is shown at right). In concept and in its often remarkable visuals, full of odd juxtaposition and connections that don't quite adhere, Crumbs is a treat for jaded filmgoers fed up with post-apocalyptic emptiness, violence, horror and depression. To take their place, the filmmaker has come up with a hero like no other we have seen, embodied by a very particular actor named Daniel Tadesse (shown below).

Tadesse, with his misshapen body and handsome, expressive face (the camera roams over both of these) plays Gagano, a collector of scrap and any other items that might come his way -- the film is full of what we might call "collectibles": present-day artifacts that one hopes may gain value over eons to come -- and these bizarre pieces (from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figurine to a Michael Jackson record to a Baby Jesus creche piece) seem to have done exactly that.

Gagano lives with his true love Birdy (the graceful Selam Tesfayie, shown foreground, above) in an non-working bowling alley they now call home. And... Well, that's mostly it. There's little plot to speak of here, and what incidents there are -- a visit to a so-called "witch,"  the appearance of a very perverse Santa Claus (below) and a someone-or-other wearing a Nazi arm band (further below) who seems to menace our hero but not really -- only serve to attenuate an already thin tale.

As clever and visually enticing as Llansó has made his movie, this viewer at least felt the plotting and execution to be inordinately slow. While this does give us time to try to piece together a meaning to it all -- What's that spaceship doing up in the sky for so long without moving? Where do our twosome's food and water come from? What's real here (if anything) and what isn't? -- there is not much meaningful that I could piece together.

Still, I enjoyed very much the look of the film, and the performance of Tadesse, below. Because the movie is a mere 68 minutes, the DVD also offers two other short films by Llansó, both starring this unusual actor.

Crumbs, released via IndiePix Films as another in its "highly-curated collection of the best independent films from around the world," hits DVD this Tuesday, November 3, for sale or rental, with its digital debut following close at hand on November 17.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD? Another case of misplaced, if not imbecilic, critical hosannas

If you're a fan of nearly non-stop action, you'll probably go for MAD MAX: FURY ROAD, the third in a fortunately not-so-swift (the last one hit theaters in 1981) series of post-apocalyptic action movies about a taciturn non-hero who keeps saving the day. The first two films starred a much younger Mel Gibson; the mantle has now passed to Tom Hardy. The director of all three is Australian George Miller, whose best work is the under-rated but simply terrific Babe: Pig in the City.

Garnering a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes, most of the plaudits seem to come from critics who are impressed that filmmaker Miller didn't go the constant CGI/green-screen route but used "reality" in his filming. Yeah, right. There's plenty of CGI here, folk, so don't imagine you're going to see amazing stunt work above all else. What you do see is lots of action and scenes of it that go on and on and on. They're impressive. For awhile. Mr. Hardy, above (and still seemingly wearing that mouthpiece from The Dark Knight Rises), has a nice face. So what's the point in keeping it covered, as it is through about half of this film? In any case, Hardy proves properly gruff with, of course, the required, caring interior.

Along for the ride -- she initiates it, in fact -- is Charlize Theron, above, complete with CGI-effected robotic wrist and hand, along with a flock of young ladies, below, who appear to be brides of

the weird-assed (and faced), power-mad -- gosh, aren't they all? -- dictator, played by Hugh Keays-Byrne (below), who gets to wear his own rather nonsensical facial mask throughout the film.

Tagging along, off and on, and with a very off-and-on sense of loyalty is a bizarre character played surprisingly well by Nicholas Hoult, below, who -- though covered in white paint -- does not have to wear any mask and thus provides the film's most compelling performance. In thrall to his crazy leader, as seem to be the entire populace, Mr. Hoult makes us care a bit about who he is what he is going through, which is more than can be said for anyone else in the film.

The problem here, for viewers who insists on more than mere action, is that the world depicted seems utterly free of  logic. How do these people we spend our two hours with (and the movie is at lest 30 minutes too long: the earlier Mad Maxes clocked in at around 90 minutes) manage to exist? We never see them eating (save a moment featuring a small surprise beetle), and only once does our hero take a drink of water. Mother's milk appears to be the meal of choice -- for the bad guys, at least -- but it that really enough to fully nourish a grown man?

The movie spends its first two thirds with the good guys running away from the bad guys toward some "greener" spot called home. The last third has them running back again toward their original and ghastly location, followed once more by the bad guys. That's the plot. The climactic chase, for all its ferocious action and death, is barely believable, while the result of that chase and the requisite toppling-of-the-villain is so ridiculously simple and easy as to approach camp.

Let me be clear: The movie isn't horrible; it's simply stunted. Sure, the action is well-executed, but a good movie, just like a good life, requires something more. Mad Max: Fury Road -- a B-movie raised, thanks to its multi-million-dollar budget, to something beyond its grasp -- arrived to surprisingly small box-office, considering its hype. I would expect a steep decline in its second week grosses, as well, once word-of-mouth sets in (the cinema we frequented had maybe a dozen in attendance at a late afternoon showing), so if you plan to see the film in theaters, better do it soon. Or wait for the Blu-ray/DVD.

Oh, yes: one more thing. Here's another 3D movie being shown in theaters that don't bother to get the projection right (we saw it at AMC's Kips Bay in NYC). Consequently the 3D looked dark and muddy throughout. And don't use the "Yes-but-this-is-post-apocalyptic" excuse, either, since most the movie takes place in the bright and sunny desert. Theaters are charging us more for 3D (which did not used to be the case), while giving us a third-rate viewing experience: One more reason why box-office grosses continues to decline, even as admission prices go up.