For a true Xmas turkey, look no further than Ed Burns' THE FITZGERALD FAMILY CHRISTMAS

Ed Burns and Connie Britton are tremen-dously appealing actors, but they are about the only good things -- despite a cast full of other good actors -- in the atrocious and cliche-ridden "family" rom-com-dram, THE FITZGERALD FAMILY CHRISTMAS. What were they thinking? rears its questioning little head often and loudly throughout this message-laden movie about family, death, dying, guilt, retribution, sex, drugs, rock-n-roll and more. Oh, god, so much more. Each family member in this sappy, soapy saga has his/her own sad story. Together these make for major audience tribulation -- unless you are one of those lucky souls who must have your daily fix of a cliché or two (or, in this case maybe 20).

Over the years since Mr. Burns (pictured at right), who wrote and directed this film, burst upon the scene with his over-rated debut, The Brothers McMullen, he then, due to the outsized success of that one, continued mostly to repeat himself with movies that tend to glorify male caddishness, while misunderstanding women (though this did seem to be changing a bit in a film like his Purple Violets). In his latest we get themes and characters like the overbearing mother, abused girl friend, a senior citizen at the end of life, an unfaithful/absentee dad, and the great-looking guy (Mr. Burns, of course) who just can't seem to land a decent girlfriend.

That gone-for-decades dad (the recently-deceased Ed Lauter, above, left, with Michael McGlone) now wants back into the family, for reasons that will soon become apparent. Mom (Anita Gillette, the redhead shown bottom, center) says no, while their multiple offspring seem rather split in their views.

Not one of those offspring save the most fabulous one (you can guess who plays him) will even show up for mom's birthday, while the increasingly dumb behavior of one sis (Kerry Bishé, above left) and bro (Mr. McGlone) manages to hook their respective boyfriend (Noah Emmerich, above, right) and girlfriend up to each other. In fact, so much of the behavior on view is either lame-brained or super-convenient/coincidental that believability and interest soon depart.

And the happy ending you can see coming a mile away (but hope against hope will not arrive) does manage to land with its own built-in kicker: If ever a family deserved each other, it's this one. The Fitzgerald Family Christmas, that very rare holiday turkey that seems both over-cooked and under-done, can be streamed on Netflix, viewed via Amazon Instant Video or purchased on DVD.

An appropriate viewing for this Turkey Day: Jamie Babbit's oddball BREAKING THE GIRLS

Over the past few Thanksgivings, TrustMovies has tried to pick an appropriate "turkey" of a movie about which to warn his readers. But since he has already covered The Counselor, he had to look elsewhere this year. Fortunately Netflix has recently unveiled, via the company's streaming service, a very odd new addition to the turkey farm. BREAKING THE GIRLS is a sort-of lesbian-themed, sort-of thriller, sort-of psychological mystery, sort-of sister act, sort-of college-girl-caper and all-over-ridiculous movie (but still rather fun, if you find yourself watching it while in an especially forgiving mood). It almost-but-doesn't-quite rise to the level of unintentional camp.

Plus, it offers Agnes Bruckner, shown below, an actress many of us have enjoyed ever since her breakout role more than a decade ago in Blue Car. Co-written, and pretty badly -- the characterization barely reaches rote level, but then, with all the last-minute twists and turns the script demands, this is not surprising -- by Mark Distefano and Guinevere Turner, the movie is directed by Jamie Babbit (shown at right), a filmmaker I have been rooting for since But I'm a Cheerleader, though she has yet to deliver a follow-up worth this impressive debut film. (The Quiet probably comes closest but doesn't, finally, make it.)

Breaking the Girls, tells the sad tale of a young, pretty and smart law student (Bruckner), scraping by on a scholarship, who one night during her job as a bartender, places money that should go into the till into her tip jar. She is seen by a nasty co-student (Shanna Collins, shown at bottom, left, with Tiya Sircar), and her actions are reported to her boss. She's then fired from her job and has her scholarship taken away, to boot.

Coincidentally (coincidence is rife in this movie), a pretty and sleazy femme fatale (Madeline Zima, above) happens to be sitting at the bar one night, makes friends with our heroine, and before you can say red-hot lesbian sex scene, they are having exactly that. Actually, first, as I recall, they have a semi-hot/almost-threesome in the pool, with Shawn Ashmore (below, center, who plays the cute FBI kid -- or is it CIA -- on The Following), who here plays the boyfriend of that nasty co-student, except that he really likes Ms Bruckner's character best and also, if we read the cast list during the end credits, turns out to be the son of her law professor, though that fact seems to have gone missing from the movie itself. During a sensuous, sleepy post-coital maneuver, Ms Fatale suggests to our heroine that, because Fatale hates her stepmother and heroine hates that nasty tattle-tale, the two girls should team up to kill both of them, with one killing the other's nemesis, since of course she will not be suspected of the crime. This is dumb, but at least our trio of filmmakers gets credit for having seen Strangers on a Train.

Things go from dumb to dumber, with little concern for any kind of remote believability. This is so the film can, in its relatively short running time, reach the point where surprise after surprise kicks in. By then you'll have kicked the movie itself -- unless you find, as I did, that screwy can move to nutty and end up being actually rather ridiculous fun.

Also involved is that supposedly wicked stepmother, a not-so-sterling stepfather, a kindly police officer, an aging relative (played by Melanie Mayron) and a few other characters, none of whom do much except push the silly plot along. But, as I say, if you find yourself in a forgiving mood, this kind of nonsense -- given its glossy surface, some very nice clothes and sets and an attractive cast and a particularly beautiful house which lends itself to this kind of  film -- you might find this year's turkey at least a bit tasty in certain regards.

If you, at the end of Breaking the Girls, think back on the film from its beginning, it makes just about zero sense. As  though anybody on this earth could exert that much control over those around them. But that, I guess, is part of its lame-brained charm. The movie, running 86 minutes, is available now on Netflix streaming, Amazon Instant Video & DVD.

Happy Thanksgiving -- and this year's turkey is... INCEPTION on Blu-Ray

Last year's Christmas turkey, movie-wise, was the arrival of Four Christmases on DVD.  This year, for an even more timely turkey, the award goes to INCEPTION, which TrustMovies finally got around to viewing a couple of weeks prior to its December 7 debut on Blu-Ray and DVD. Millions may disagree, as the movie has already raked in close to a billion dollars at the worldwide box-office, but TM stands behind his opinion of Inception as one sorry excuse for storytelling.  All about special effects, the film uses near-constant CGI stuff designed to dazzle us to death. Individually, some of its effects are fun (for awhile), but collectively they don't hold a candle to the single big Tsunami scene in Eastwood's Hereafter.

Writer/director Christopher Nolan, left, still has trouble staging intelligent action scenes. They waddle and wobble. It doesn't matter as much here, though, because most of the movie is a dream, or a dream within a dream (within a dream). Consequently, we immediately imagine that nothing much is at stake, since the protagonists can always wake up and make things OK.  But no: Nolan gives us reams of exposition in order to explain his "rules of engagement."  For awhile, this is so silly that it's rather endearing. And then, because we simply can't begin to care, even a poop, about any of these characters (none of them have a character), our interest wanes, our patience wears thin, thinner, then -- pop! -- annoyance sets in. This grows into something like anger, as the film runs an unconscionably long two-and-one-half hours.

If you are going to make a movie that dwells mostly in dreams, I would suggest that you make some attempt to capture the sense of the dream state. There are many approaches to this but Nolan doesn't try any of them. Instead, everything looks slick and glossy and "special effecty" rather than off-kilter yet real (or maybe on-kilter but somehow unreal) in the way that dreams manage it. There's little that seems genuinely hallucinatory here; it's all ooooh-look-at-that!

After Shutter Island and now this one, Leonardo DiCaprio (above, center) might consider a moratorium on playing grief roles without a character to attach them to. He's still pretty enough, but god, he's growing glum and boring. Michael Caine has a throwaway role (and Pete Postlethwaite even more of one); Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy (above, left) and Marion Cotillard, play pretty much single notes in parts that allow nothing more. Only Ellen Page (below), Tom Hardy (this, remember, is the guy who did the title role in Bronson!) and Dileep Rao bring some sense of fun and energy to the proceedings. They prove very nearly the only saving graces on view.

As to the Blu-Ray transfer, it's nothing special and consequently rather disappointing.  The scene with Page and DiCaprio in Paris with mirrored doors is nice, and certain other shots are semi-spectacular. But Nolan's attempts at suspense -- cutting back, again and again and again, to a car going over a bridge in slo-mo -- are exasperatingly laughable. Despite the movie's very high "concept," by the finale (massive gun-play and explosions), the far too-heavy hand of been-there/done-that hangs all over Inception. What a waste of time.