ONE-EYED MONSTER: Good, dirty fun in which Ron Jeremy & Veronica Hart go legit

The last time TrustMovies saw Ron Jeremy (shown, right) in a film was maybe 10-15 years back and he was surprised by what he encountered. Never being one who watched much hard-core, he found this chubby and hairy little guy with the very large member rather endearing: relaxed (except below the belt, of course), funny and evident-
ly, via the evidence of what was on-screen, able to give numerous pretty girls a very good time. Ron is back this

month in a straight-to-video movie titled ONE-EYED MONSTER that earlier this year appeared at film fests in Glasgow, Scotland, and Brussels, Belgium. The biggest difference I could ascertain between Jeremy then and Jeremy now is that his mat of chest hair has gone gray. Oh -- and this time the movie is not even soft-core, let alone hard.

The credits inform us that the film "introduces" Ron Jeremy, which usually means that this is the performer's first film outing. Perhaps the joke here is that this is Mr. Jeremy's first non-porno outing, since the fellow boasts perhaps the longest (no, not that) list of credits on the entire IMDB site. Click on his name above and be utterly amazed at his 1,156 acting appearances. (Editor's note: In the nearly five years since this article was posted, the number has reached 1,391!) This man has directed more films -- 181 of them -- than most actors have appeared in. He's even written 38 movies. Granted these are mostly porn, but still: The fact that Mr. Jeremy remains alive and kicking (and screwing) -- not to mention acting, directing and writing -- is testament to some kind of heavy-duty endurance.

In One-Eyed Monster, Jeremy co-stars with another aging porn star, Veronica Hart (left), and both of them do a bang-up job, so to speak, as does the rest of the ensemble cast. Performances are vitally important here because the movie is a spoof -- played straight -- of thriller and sci-fi flicks. This is not an easy task, in the writing, directing or acting department (for a recent failed example, see Alien Trespass), so the fact that One-Eyed Monster works well is probably the most shocking thing about it. Certainly, it's tame so far as its visuals are concerned: the Wayans Brothers' movies offer more sexual gross-outs and shocks.

What this movie is after is fun and frolic regarding the porn industry, moviemaking, sex, aliens trespassing and the male/directorial prerogative -- among other topics. Amazingly, it achieves much of these aims via its direction and performances (the screenplay is serviceable and occasionally clever). Adam Fields is credited as director, co-writer (with his twin brother Jordan and another Fields -- first name, Scott -- who is the third brother), producer and composer. That's a lot to take on, but damned if the Fields don't pull it off (so to speak).

The director manages a consistently breezy, charming and slightly fizzy -- maybe dizzy -- tone, which he and his cast hold to throughout the entire film. This merging of porno, space alien, comedy-played-straight and the occasional bits of gore makes for an unusually chipper and oddly sweet concoction, one that doesn't compare to much of anything else out there. Other than the porn vets, the cast is made up of mostly unknowns -- except for Charles Napier (Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) and Amber Benson (of TV's "Buffy"). To a man (and woman) they rise to the challenge and keep things humming along. I'd single out the younger cast members if any rose above the others, but, no -- they're all quite good. They "get" what's going on here and are talented and intelligent enough to guide us into getting it, too.

For an "alien" movie, One-Eyed Monster is short of sci-fi special effects. There are really only two -- besides the gross-out prosthetics -- and both are as cheesy and delightful as you could want. Mostly, it'll be the consistent grin on your face, not to mention the laugh-out-loud moments, that will keep you pleasantly glued to the DVD on screen. Good going, Fields and gang! More, please.

Update, as of August 2012: the movie is available 

on Netflix -- via DVD or streaming -- where it is 

bound to find its true and loyal audience.