Clayton Witmer's overlong, tiresome psycho-creature feature, THE ARBORS, arrives via VOD

You've got to hand it to any filmmaker with balls big enough to offer up -- after giving us a way-too-long two hours of genre-jumping nonsense that grows worse as it goes along-- a priceless line of dialog: "Can't this all just be over?!" To which you're likely to reply, Oh, yes, god -- please! Yet exactly that's what a fellow by the name of Clayton Witmer does, as director and co-writer, in his film THE ARBORS, which TrustMovies admits starts out well enough, as we perceive that quite a number of things are amiss in the small town in which the film takes place. We and our hero Ethan (a remarkably passive guy) notice a group of workers in bio-hazard suits just off the nearby road. Soon Ethan is asking his young neighbor to stop throwing rocks at his mailbox, and then he has an odd, not-quite dinner with his brother and his family.

By the ten-minute mark, we've noticed something that, from the little we see of it, just might be some alien life form. And then we hear a TV evangelist doing the usual proclaiming about "last days." Sounds pretty promising, right? If only.

Mr. Witmer, pictured at right, gives us one good jump scare, before settling in to make his film as deadly dull as possible, given its promising set-up. Instead of proceeding in a way that anyone except a complete numskull would do (alert the authorities, any authority), Ethan takes into pseudo-captivity this clearly dangerous creature -- think The Hidden, if you can remember back to 1987, but without any of the action and gleeful fun of that groundbreaking film. Our creature then grows bigger and begins doing very nasty things.

The Arbors is written, directed and acted in the kind of faux naturalistic style that instead of seeming "real," comes off as all the more "fake" -- mostly because the dialog falls somewhere between screenwriting that's merely so-so and genuinely bad improvisation.

And it is not only Ethan himself who moves, speaks and acts like a person somewhere on the autistic-and/or-drugged-up spectrum; most of the other cast members seem a little too close to zombie status, too. You keep wanting to kick them and their film into something approaching action. 

By the time those "clues" start building up as to what is really going on here, and the would-be psychological angle takes over, that psychology will seem like the dumbest thing about the movie. Unfortunately, it is also the film's entire point.

Performances certainly match the long, dark, tiresome style, with Drew Matthews (above) sleep-inducing as Ethan, and Ryan Davenport (below, left) slightly more lively as his brother Shane. Especially ludicrous is the scene between Ethan and his ex-girlfriend, in which she pleads with this catatonic nutcase to run away with her. But then this entire movie seems to exist in some vacuum of utter unreality.

Well, this is Mr. Witmer's first full-length attempt, so we've got to give him a break, even if he has taken a workable, if not terribly original, concept and fleshed it out with a way-too-long, way-too-tiresome treatment. Brevity, it turns out, is not simply the soul of wit, it's the soul of most genre films, too. Note to budding filmmakers: Make certain that the amount of your content comes reasonably close to the length of your running time.

From Gravitas Ventures, two full hours in length, The Arbors hit VOD last week on March 26. Click here then scroll down for more information.

Apocalypse soon in Jeffrey A. Brown's slow-burn horror, THE BEACH HOUSE

When a cute and sexy but squabbling young couple  -- played by Liana Liberato and Noah Le Gros -- show up at his family's supposedly empty beach house for a long weekend (or maybe an indefinite stay), after a bout of quick lovemaking, they discover they're not alone and must share this lovely and spacious retreat with a kindly older couple, who are friends of the Le Gros character's father, who owns the house.

This might be a nice set-up for comparing relationships, young and old; or maybe a kind of coming-of-age tale in which the younger set learns about priorities and responsibility.  Except that this movie begins with the camera panning down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean where a huge rock formation is suddenly giving off a very weird, gray combination of what seems like steam and dust.

What's going on in THE BEACH HOUSE, the new sci-fi/horror/thriller from first-time/full-length writer/director Jeffrey A. Brown (shown at left), turns out to be the kind of theme and movie that usually demand an enormous budget. Brown quite cleverly reduces it all to four actors/characters (plus a few extras) and a time frame of maybe two full days, if that. What happens begins at a very slow burn then increasingly heats up until we're grasping at straws, trying to discover a way out -- any way at all -- for the remaining characters. Things finally begin to happen so fast and furiously that we rather know in our heart and mind that there is no way out. Which make the final lines spoken in this film so awful and moving.

Ms Liberato's character, Emily (above), is studying to be (if TrustMovies remembers correctly) a kind of astrophysicist-by-way-of-marine-biologist, and knows how to explain her fields to that older couple (Jake Weber and Maryann Nagel, below) so that they (and we) understand just enough of what might be happening that we can suspend disbelief and hold on tight.

That early slow burn allows us to ascertain a bit more about character and situation as we move along -- Emily is highly responsible, Randall (Mr. Le Gros, below) is anything but, while Mitch (Mr. Weber) is a loving caregiver, though Jane (Ms Nagel) is definitely not long for that care.

Special effects -- beginning ever so quietly and slowly, then heatedly ramping up -- are very well chosen for both suspense and their "ick" factor. The power of suggestion is also used quite smartly here. Even at just 88 minutes, the movie is still a little too long. Once it is clear how and where things are going, Mr. Brown dawdles and repeats a bit in getting us there.

But, finally, we do. And though it's not a place you'd choose to be, there is, as they say, at least some closure. From the AMC streaming platform, SHUDDER, The Beach House opened last week in the U.S.A., Canada, the UK and Ireland. Click here to find the fastest way to access the movie.

In Natalie Erika James' RELIC, characters peel away the present to discover the past

One of those What's-going-on-with-Granny? movies that proves -- for awhile, at least -- good enough to work on two out of three of the levels it tackles: horror and family history. Whether RELIC works on its third and probably most important level, which seemed to TrustMovies to be about unconditional love, will depend on how well this new film, the first full-lengther directed and co-written (with Christian White) by Natalie Erika James (shown below) holds and convinces you throughout its too-little-content-for-90-minutes running time.

Relic lost me around the mid-way point. I continued with it, but more out of a sense of reviewer's duty than enjoyment or interest. The plot follows a dutiful daughter (Emily Mortimer, above center) and her own daughter (Bella Heathcote, above, right) who come to visit Grandma (Robyn Nevin, above, left) because there seems to be a problem.

The two women arrive at an empty house with Gran missing. Once she returns, it is very soon clear that this old woman is a danger to herself and to others: a textbook example of someone who must be taken into some kind of protective custody.

But, instead of acting like intelligent, caring adults, mom and granddaughter turn into horror movie clichés who waste our time by walking down long dark corridors for the usual effect but to no particular purpose. Chills melt, suspense flails and dies, and we realize most of this exists merely to provide filler and vamping.

So we wait for the conclusion that works as both metaphor and reality -- well, the reality of a horror movie, at least. And while it does prove somewhat interesting and different, it also arrives as too little too late. Ms Mortimer and Ms Heathcote are as good as their roles allow but only Ms Nevin rises to the memorable. She is simultaneously classy, scary and impressive indeed.

Cinematography, set design and special effects are also as good as possible, considering -- especially the manner in which the house is made to mirror the dementia of its occupant. Otherwise, though, Relic seem to me to be yet another example of an idea worth maybe forty minutes stretched to unseemly proportions.

From IFC Midnight, the movie hits select theaters, drive-ins and digital/VOD this Friday, July 10. Click here for more information.

On Blu-ray from Arrow Video, two oldies worth revisiting -- MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON

As TrustMovies recalls (he was 16 at the time), upon the 1957 theatrical release of MAN OF A THOUSAND FACES, this movie bio of famous silent screen actor and vaudeville performer Lon Chaney (played by James Cagney, below, right, with co-star Dorothy Malone) was greeted in only lukewarm fashion by the critical establishment, garnering but a single Oscar nomination that year (for screenwriting), and seemingly consigned to that very large vault of the so-so that Hollywood has long produced and continues producing, if in even more mediocre fashion.

Seeing it again, it a spiffy new Blu-ray transfer that brings all of its ace black-and-white cinematography (by the great Russell Metty) to the fore, the film now seems a keeper for several reasons.

First of all, it seems to me to be as perfect an example as you will find of typical 1950s Hollywood moviemaking -- and that means both the good and the bad -- including the usual over-produced and -insistent musical score; fine Hollywood actors, all doing an expert job; good and careful screen-writing put to use in the service of a would-be "classy" subject; and competent, serviceable direction (by journeyman Joseph Pevney, below).

The result, thanks to fine work by Cagney and all his co-stars, is rather like cliché raised to something akin to its highest level: It may be obvious but it is highly entertaining, sometimes even quite moving.

The tale itself -- of Chaney's work in vaudeville and, thanks to a shocking and horrible event in his personal life that immediately went public, his move into motion-picture acting -- is simply too interesting not to grab us viewers.

And because of the good screenwriting and even better performances, the story maintains that hold, right through to an ending that -- even if fictionalized, as is probably most of the rest of the tale -- still works its movie magic rather well.

To Cagney's (and the screenwriters') credit, we certainly see all of Chaney's blind spots and weak spots. He's a hero, all right, but quite the flawed one. While the vaudeville routines are fun and fairly diverse, it's the Hollywood years, beginning with extra work leading to small then starring roles, that prove the most fun. That's Marjorie Rambeau, at left above, playing the extra actor who shows Chaney the ropes. In other supporting roles are well-known actors like Jim Backus, Jack Albertson, Robert Evans and Roger Smith, all of whom are just fine.

One of the most striking things you may notice about the film is its absolute and unflinching dedication to the mores and life-style of the 1950s -- in which a woman's place (particularly a mother's) was in the home and nowhere else. Career? Forget about that, honey! Watching this movie today, audiences are more likely to identify and agree with the character played by Ms Malone, whose chance as a successful singer, Chaney simply destroys because, well, that's his right. All this, in addition to the merits of the movie itself, make Man of a Thousand Faces an unusually interesting example of 1950s Hollywood. (That's Jane Greer, above, right, playing the oh-so-good-and-kind woman who comes into Chaney's life to replace that naughty, hateful wife. Ah, the 50s!)

*********************

AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, is pure early 1980s Hollywood, as the town and its films, particularly those in the horror genre, were quickly changing to fit a much more liberal, racy, show-it-all sensibility. Released in August of 1981, five months after The Howling, the real precursor of this new horror -- it was wittier, cleverer and scarier, too -- hit theaters, this second-tier movie from writer/director John Landis actually made a tidier profit than did The Howling (though the latter had a slew of sequels/follow-ups to the former's single clever but box-office-unsuccessful Paris attempt).

What An American Werewolf in London offers, aside from its clever-ironic title and the expected human to werewolf transformation effects, is a lot of grizzly special effects used -- a big surprise back then -- to create some laugh-out-loud comedy. Most of this humor is provided by the movie's ace co-star Griffin Dunne (below, left), whose career took off with this film and is still going strong.

If you still have not seen this movie, I shant go into detail about this gore and humor but will simply say that, having just seen the film again, after some 28 years, it's this very special humor that makes the whole enterprise most worth viewing and savoring once again.

Rick Baker's special effects are less convincing or scary than those he supervised for The Howling -- the werewolf itself (shown at bottom) looks rather fat, gross and silly, but I imagine Baker was intent upon not duplicating in any way the look he used for The Howling -- but Landis' juggling of the humor, suspense and horror still works quite well.

Leading actor David Naughton (above and two photo up at right) brings a quizzical, goofy appeal (was this the first time that full-frontal male nudity had been used in a horror film?), Jenny Agutter (below) makes a lovely, intelligent leading lady, and the film's sudden, no-frills/no-further-explanation finale remains bracing.

If you're a newcomer to the film (as my grandkids were: They thought it was silly fun), by all means have a look, and if you're hankering to revisit, you will probably not be disappointed, though the Blu-ray transfer is not nearly as fine as that of Man of a Thousand Faces.

From Arrow Video, distributed here in the USA via MVD Entertainment Group, both films hit the street on Blu-ray ("American Werewolf" is also available on DVD) this coming Tuesday, October 29 -- for purchase (and I hope) rental.  Plentiful and terrifically enjoyable Bonus Materials are available on both films, as is the usual case with Arrow's offerings.

Our June Sunday Corner with Lee Liberman: Grimdark tales -- THE FRANKENSTEIN CHRONICLES

Grimdark describes a particularly grizzled and surreal dystopian fiction. It features doom, gloom, and pessimism; stuff creaks, groans, clanks, is clouded in mist. Rulers are useless, heroes flawed, doing good is futile, might trumps right. The grimdark category is reportedly inspired by the tagline of the tabletop strategy game Warhammer 40,000: ‘In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war’ (grimdark imagery below).

George RR Martin gave us A Song of Ice and Fire which has spun out into the avidly obsessed-over grimdark Game of Thrones (GoT). Dickens favorites are more literary, while recent grimdarks include Peaky Blinders, Taboo, Ripper Street, Walking Dead and THE FRANKENSTEIN CHRONICLES, which lean to naked horror. Playing now on Netflix, it has been described as ‘brilliantly grim’ (The Guardian) and is well-enough reviewed on Rotten Tomatoes (80% season 1, 72% season 2). The series stars Sean Bean as a grungy policeman, a shambling contrast to his turn as lord of Westeros’ North.

Bean is himself a memorable character, with dozens of film, tv credits, and awards including a multi-year series based on novels by Bernard Cornwell about a rogue Napoleonic-era soldier named Sharpe. Bean resembles him too much, putting him on the outs in the Me Too era — he has recently married his fifth wife with domestic fray on the record. His character, John Marlott, is fated to live out a variation of Mary Shelley’s monster in her novel Frankenstein (art getting even with Bean, as it were).

Mary Shelley (1797-1851) is a character in the series, played by Anna Maxwell Martin (above l, with Marlott and Ed Stoppard, r, as Lord Hervey). The actual teenage Mary, daughter of two writers and wife of poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, wrote ‘Frankenstein’ anonymously in 1816, revising it for publication under her own name in 1831, having suffered years of pregnancy and loss. (Her story is very well told in last year's bio-pic, Mary Shelley.) For so young a woman at the time of its creation, it is extraordinary psychological drama, seminal science fiction, and a cautionary tale for modern technologists. The main character is science student, Victor Frankenstein, a young man absorbed by the challenge of creating life, who uses electrical current in lab experiments to animate a man-monster that has been stitched together of human parts. The unhappy creature brings tragedy to Victor, his family, and to the monster himself, in which one’s sympathies toward creator, Victor, slowly shift to his creation. Shelley observes: “People are rendered ferocious by misery and misanthropy is ever the offspring of discontent.”

Mary (above) constructed her morbid fiction on the dangers inherent in scientific manipulation of human life and her own losses—her mother died following her birth, invoking loss of love and guidance and Mary buried three of her own infants. In a 2018 The New Yorker review of the novel on its bicentennial, Jill Lepore describes it as “an allegory, a fable, an epistolary novel, and an autobiography, a chaos of literary fertility….”). Shelley was uniquely a mother as well as writer, (in contrast to Jane Austen, the Bronte’s, and George Eliot). Also, her incorporation of the intellectual hot topics of the day such as the work of Darwin and Galvani (the ‘father’ of electrophysiology) have made the novel a touchstone to this day for scientists, inventors of robotics and artificial intelligence, behavioral sciences, genetics. And Shelley’s work itself has more intellectual gravitas than any of its succeeding tellings.

The creators of Frankenstein Chronicles, Benjamin Ross (director, writer, above) and Barry Langford (writer), made crime procedurals about the underworld of Regency London, seeding its two series with real people and situations that allude to the Frankenstein tale but go their own way, using crime, prostitution, drug smuggling, poverty, illness, politics, “tweedy styling, plentiful hats, bursts of viscerally gory violence” (Telegraph). Some have described ‘Chronicles’ as a reimagining of ‘Frankenstein’ — really not so, rather they use Frankenstein memes. There are two freaky lords intent on human animation. An intrepid journalist, Boz, deemed to be Dickens, collaborates with Marlott — serializing the mystery in the paper. Add Sir Thomas Peel, a real British Home Secretary and Prime Minister; poet William Blake; and Ada Byron (Lily Lesser), daughter of poet Byron, raised on science by her mother to counter Byron’s anti-social ways. Ada says: ‘There will be a time when everything you see and do will be influenced by machines …and we must embrace it or...be chewed up in its cogs.’ Mathematician Ada (below) was known for her work on the mechanical computer, presaging the computer age by a century and influencing Alan Turing’s computer code-breaking at Bletchley Park during WWII.

The main protagonists, in addition to Marlott, however, are Lord Daniel Hervey, a private hospital owner played by the excellent Ed Stoppard, his sister, Lady Jemima, played by Vanessa Kirby (Princess Margaret in The Crown), Thames River policeman, Joseph Nightingale, played by Richie Campbell, also a small turn by Kate Dickie (Lysa Arryn in GoT). Season 2 introduces the devious and secretive Lord Frederick Dipple (Laurence Fox of ‘Inspector Lewis’, charismatic and delicious to watch, below, r) and for pathos, widowed seamstress Esther Rose (Maeve Dermody, l).

Season 1 begins with policeman Marlott on his rounds finding a dead child on the river who has been sewn together from bodies of others (like Frankenstein’s creature). Marlott is charged to find out about it by Sir Robert Peel (Tom Ward), who is trying to pass laws that will professionalize medicine and medical analysis. Marlott finds a war raging among factions with assorted nefarious stakes, which I leave for you to discover. The plot drags in parts, despite the intense charisma of characters, themes, and irresistable Dickensian atmosphere. The story arc does not measure up to, say, ‘Ripper Street’. Still if you are a horror fan, you may think it well worth the effort. A third season seems likely but has not yet been announced.

The above post was written by 

our monthly correspondent, Lee Liberman

Blu-ray debut for HORROR EXPRESS, in which two Hammer heroes meet some Spanish scares

HORROR EXPRESS was not actually a Hammer Film but it may seem like one, thanks to its stars -- Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, two stalwarts of the Hammer stable -- and subject matter, the latter of which spans space aliens, body hopping, bloody horror and zombies run amok. As written by Arnaud d'Usseau and Julian Zimet and directed by Spanish filmmaker Eugenio Martín (working here under the more American sounding name of Gene Martin), this 1972 movie is an oddball precursor to everything from The Hidden to The Walking Dead.

Senor Martín,  shown at right in his twilight years, did a workmanlike job of bringing all this together, while the decent enough acting from the leads and support, plus a very nice "period" look to the sets and costumes, combine to make the movie an enjoyable enough romp for those inclined to this genre.

The movie begins in Manchuria (or maybe points east) as Lee, playing one of his typical stern-faced scientists, discovers an ancient body encased in ice and then loads it onto the titular train (the original Spanish title of the film was Panic on the Transiberian Express).

Very soon, one train passenger after another is dying via bloody eyeballs and a very fast and thorough "brain wiping."

OK: By this point in time, we've seen it all before (or since), yet for fans of the horror/sci-fi/thriller genre, Horror Express offers enough decent delectation to pass muster. Cushing and Lee (above, left and right respectively) are solid fun, as usual, while the best supporting performance comes from Alberto de Mendoza (below) as a priest who is just as happy to serve Satan as God, so long as his master is really powerful.

The distaff side is represented by a couple of good-looking ladies -- one bad, the other good -- who get exactly the just desserts would would expect in this kind of movie. (That's Helga Liné, below, right, as the bad girl.)

In the final third, no less than Telly Savalas (below) makes his usual "bold" appearance, rather tossing a monkey wrench into things with his over-the-top style. But by then the movie itself has gone over the top, with even more soon to come.

So just settle back for a wild ride. And, for heaven's sake, don't look into that naughty monster's eyes! From Arrow Video via MVD Visual, and running 88 minutes, Horror Express leaves the station tomorrow, Tuesday, February 12, on Blu-ray -- for purchase and (one hopes) rental.

As usual with Arrow, there are bonus features aplenty. Click here to view all that you'll get in this particular package.

Unearthed Films digs up another fun "classic," Jean-Paul Ouellette's THE UNNAMABLE

Celebrating its 30th anniver-sary this year, the cult horror film THE UNNAMABLE -- which TrustMovies had heard of occasionally over the years but never actually seen until now -- turns out to be a bit of good, old-fashioned horror/ supernatural fun, for reasons that begin with its surprisingly well-imagined and executed "monster" and include some decent dialog, well-placed scares, and better-than-average performances from most of the cast members. (The musical score is far too over-the-top, however.)

As directed and adapted (from an H.P. Lovecraft short story) by Jean-Paul Ouellette (shown at right), the movie's main problem (today, at least) is that the tale it tells seems awfully been-there/done-that, so audiences -- cult audiences are likeliest to fall for this one -- will simply have to ignore or forgive these trespasses and stick with what makes the movie the most fun.

The late Mr. Lovecraft, whose work has been adapted or inspired into nearly 200 movies so far (according to the IMDB, at least), did have a knack for scares & fright.

He knew how to make use of "the unknown," while turning the "knowing" of it into something much worse than one's previous ignorance.

In The Unnamable, we begin maybe a couple of hundred years previous, in a large New England house in which a very naughty "being" is semi-imprisoned. When it misbehaves, carnage ensues.

Cut to present day (present day circa 1988, anyway), where a very attractive bunch of university students plus one dweeby nerd (yes, the usual suspects) are discussing the rumors surrounding that house and what they might mean.

Before you can say "pile on some more exposition," sure enough, one of the fellows (two photos above, at left) decides to explore the place. Yes, say goodbye to him. Then we meet a couple of hot and hunky frat boys (clearly quite expendable victims), who talk two female students -- one hot, the other sweet, and all four shown above -- into exploring the house with them as a ruse and a road to some nooky.

All this is followed by suspense, scares, and more gore and carnage. And a little near-sex. One of the girls, played by Laura Albert, (above), possesses one of  the nicest nipples I've seen in a long while, and her character also keeps her on pearls on during sex -- always a sign of class.

Our hero is played by an actor who went at the time by the name of Charles King (but later became Charles Klausmeyer), shown being menaced, above. He is adorable and naive and properly sexy, at least to the girl (Alexandra Durrell, below) who pines for him but whom he does not notice properly until the finale. Well, the course of true love never did run smooth, as Willie the Shake told us way back when.

Now, to get to the main reason for watching The Unnamable: that really scary, amazingly put-together monster, of whom, as befits all good horror movies, we view only snippets until fairly close to the finale, when she (yes!) appears in all her gory glory.

What a creation this one is, and despite all the ugliness, there is more than a hint of sexuality and carnal desire present here. One gets the sense that if only one of our hot and hunky young men had pulled a nice, big boner for our creature, he might have remained alive. Or at least enjoyed himself a bit before the end. Ah, well. Best not to dwell on what might have been.

From Unearthed Films and running 87 minutes, the movie hit Blu-ray and DVD last month via MVD Entertainment Group -- for purchase and (I would hope) rental. The disc is full of Bonus Features, as well (click here for details), so fans can really dig in.